Teens rush to grow up and parents struggle to slow them down. As the mother of three daughters, no sons- I can tell you that I never thought that I would recover when my oldest daughter Tasha graduated from high school, then got married, then had her first child, then went into the military- not in a steady stream like that, but you know what I mean, if you are a parent. Its hard! It hurts and its very, very emotional. Now, she lives in another state, with a family of her own, and just had her second son. I still miss her, of course. But I don’t worry ‘as much’ as I used to about her. She is a grown women, with her own life to live.

Now, my middle daughter has grown up- over night it seems… and she has graduated and is now planning on moving closer to her father, in West Virginia. Now, I will freely admit this sends me into a panic, I am not ready for her to be grown up just yet either. This leaves my youngest at home still- Kaitlynn, who is only 10. (I wonder if I can order a magic potion online that will slow down time!)

Letting Tasha go out on her own was hard, very hard. But I survived. Watching Krysta go out on her own- should be easier but its not.

I have come to realize that it doesn’t matter how many times you go through it- each time is just as hard as the first. I made it through Tasha growing up and I am sure that I will make it through Krysta too. It does not stop the panicky feelings and the paranoid worrying that something will happen to my baby.  I love my children, as any mother loves their children. I enjoyed them being around the house, I enjoyed having to pick up after them, even though I told them differently. I was trying to make them responsible- apparently I did too good of a job, or I made them hate living at home….not sure which, because as soon they turned 18 and graduated- out the door they went. I prefer to think of it as me doing my job properly to prepare them for the world.

I am confident that I have raised intelligent, careful and wise young ladies. They will make the right choices, they will create their spot in the world and they will make me even more proud than I am right now.

I just have to keep telling myself they can do it- even though “I” know they can, my heart is scared to death

My brother is also a business owner, though he owns multiple businesses, he still looks for ways to save a dime or stretch it into a dollar. I have to give him credit- he really is brilliant! I would have never thought to do what he does. If he wants to do business with another company that has a product or service that he needs, he barters with them! How brilliant is that? Like I said, I would have never thought of that in a million years, until he did. Now, I have to say I am finding ways to barter for things that my business needs. For instance, I just purchased a domain name for my business, so now I need someone to do the website design for me. I am pretty computer savvy and I know basic HTML- enough to put together a decent website, but what I do not have is time! Being a freelance writer, I stay very busy, so to save time and to get a really nice, professionally designed website, I began searching the internet for ways to barter my services as a writer for the services that others have and that are also in need of my services.

Did you know that there are websites out there that do just that?! The sites are free to join and all you do is set up your list of what you have to offer- it could be a product, a service or things you have that you want to get rid of. The next thing that you do is set up your list of wants. Take me for example, like I said, I am a writer and I am in need of website design services. So I put my ‘haves’ as writing services and put my ‘wants’ as web site design services. In less than 24 hours, I was contacted by a website designer who will design my site in exchange for my writing services. Pretty cool if you ask me!

If you have a service that you offer, or even if you are crafter, for instance; you can barter for things that you want or need for your yourself, your family or for your business. If you want a logo designed and you are skilled in computer programming, you can trade your service for the service of another company that has what you need. No money exchanges hands but you could ultimately end up saving a fortune in the long run.

My brother has five different businesses and he is just a really smart businessman. One of his companies is a home improvement company, another is one of those hometown magazines that is filled with all kinds of advertisements for businesses in the area of distribution. He barters advertising and home improvement services for other services that he needs or wants. Last year he traded six months of advertising in his magazine for a years worth of oil changes for his fleet vehicles for his business, with an automotive repair business. He said he saved more money than the auto repair business, because they had to purchase the oil and oil filters to perform the service. All he had to do was give up a quarter page ad spot once a month in exchange. Essentially, the only thing he did was lower his profit on what he makes for his magazine and he saved way more money by bartering the maintenance for his home improvement vehicles.

The moral of the story? Be creative to get the things you need for your business! Your service or product is of value to others that have a product or service that is of value to you. Learn how to barter and you could save a lot of money that you can use elsewhere in your business.

Are You Happy?

He said something to me that struck me as pretty powerful. I said, “Honey, are you happy? I mean are you really happy?” He said, I am happy, I am really happy” I said, “Good, because I am happy with our life, our family and I am happy being your wife.” (Mushy? No, those that know us, know that we have been through our share of struggles and turmoil- maybe a little more than most)

With great wisdom, my husband said, “…if you look for something more beyond your current state of happiness, you are looking for too much. People should just be happy- being happy.”

That brings me to this- if you are happy with the daily events of your life, you feel connected to your spouse or significant other, you have a roof over your head and you can pay your bills- even if you sometimes have to rob Peter to pay Paul- but you are making it, life in general is not causing you pain, than be happy with being happy.

My Conclusion

Searching for anything beyond happiness is searching for false happiness. Happiness comes from within the person, not from the world or people around you. People can add to your happiness, but ultimately, you have to be happy with who you are, what you have and who you are with.

Life will throw you curve balls- smile in spite of it all, because tomorrow is another day and life will throw you a curve ball again….and you smile in spite of it all again. Why?

You choose your destiny and you choose to be happy with the way your daily life is. Happiness is a conscious decision.

I am happy with being happy. I don’t need anything beyond “HAPPY”.

Thank you to my wonderful husband for those prolific words <3

Writing is my passion- it is what I have always loved to do. It took me a long time to find a way that I could do what I love and do it in my pajamas, if that is how I am comfortable. OK, so maybe the pajama thing is not the real reason, but I love to be able to roll out of bed, get a cup of coffee and walk to my office (which is in my home) and begin my work for the day.

It gives me not only a sense of independence but also of accomplishment. I haven’t “made” it yet, but I am confident that I am surely on my way. I have searched far and wide on the net for a place that I can pick and choose what I want to do- not just pay the bills. I am think that I have finally found that place. This could be a bit premature, however I have to say- “so far, so good!”

I came across a great site for freelancers of all professions and types, where you can log in and go after the jobs that interest you without feeling so limited on your choices. oDesk has really created a great place for just that.  Providers (me) create their account at no charge, creating somewhat of an electronic resume of skills, experience and areas of expertise. You can then take tests that “certify” you in specific areas; from office skills, to English vocabulary, Spelling, Windows XP, Programming, web design and a slew of other areas. All the tests you take prove your proficiency and competence of your skill, which makes you more appealing to hire. If you score high enough on each individual test, you are considered to be in an élite group within that skill set and placed higher in the list of freelance providers and increase your chance of being approached for assignments. Though I have to say, I have heard it can take a while to even get your first job if you just sit back and wait for them to come to you. I am more of go out and find my bliss type of gal- so I am not content in the waiting game.

I created my account 3 days ago- I have taken test, after test, after test! I have tweaked my profile, worked on cover letters and lowered my hourly rate- and applied for assignments. I do have to say that I have only applied for 11 jobs so far. Two of which I was not hired- I make myself believe that it was because someone with a rate of few cents lower than me was chosen- whereby the buyer will surely have sacrificed quality over saving a few pennies. That is just me preening my ego, I am sure. I don’t expect to be selected every time and I am OK with that! I really am. It’s probably a good thing that I was not hired for every assignment that I applied for- I have had my plate full since I received my first assignment less than 6 hours after signing up! Incredible. The only thing I am worried about is the other 6 assignments that I did apply for are still open- meaning they have not chosen anyone to hire yet- I have consistent work and if by chance I am hired for any of them, yes I will make more money, but I will really have my plate full then! In a good way, of course.

When I did create my profile, at first I just listed the different types of writing I wanted to do. After I started looking around at all the different types of jobs that were available I found other things that I am also just as qualified for, so of course I added those to the now growing list of types of assignments that I am skilled to do.

Now I am listed not only as writer, but customer service agent, virtual assistant, quality assurance monitoring, data entry, blog commenter (yes people will hire you to do that too!) internet researcher and compiler and the list truly does go on. Why limit the potential of my cash flow?

Well, long story short- I have really lucked out and have been rehired by the same buyer six times for article writing. I have written 6 articles for her so far and she said she has steady work for me and loves my style of writing and said the articles are strong, well written and captivating, while being limited on the fluff to meet the word count. That made me feel really confident that I made the right choice by giving oDesk a try and I believe that I have really found my place.

I recommend oDesk to anyone that wants to work from home full-time or just supplement your income. You can make your own hours, work in the comfort of your own home (in your pajamas, if you choose to do so) and  not have to contend with all the things we hate about working for someone else!

What a great combination, huh? If any of you decide to give oDesk  try, leave me a comment and let me know! If I can answer any questions, I will definitely try. Don’t give up your dream of independence from the 9-5 trap- go out and find “YOUR BLISS!”

Until next time- Smile, it will leave everyone guessing what you’re up to!

Michelle

Not quite sure what is on the horizon for me, we shall see. I have an open mind and I always embrace change. It will be interesting to see how things transpire over the course of the next couple weeks. I will keep you posted. Lets pray its good!

Sorry for the short post, but I am packing, or rather trying to pack to go to Puerto Rico to pick up my pregnant daughter, who is currently down there staying with in-laws while her husband in deployed in the US Navy.

Thanks for reading and following!

~Michelle

I spoke with a very good friend of mine, Beth, who moved away to another state about a year ago. Before her and her husband and children moved away, she was having a lot of problems with her family (her parents) which in turn were causing problems in her marriage to the point they were fighting all the time and at each others throat. It was sad to watch, because I know how much they love each other. They are younger than I am, actually young enough to almost be my children. However, she and I became really good friends. She was there with me through a rough patch with my daughter while we were still in pre-diagnosis of the bipolar.  The stress that Beth was going through, dealing with constant arguing with her family and the added stress of recently becoming pregnant and having to deal with the barage of negative comments from her family members all began to take its toll on her. She began losing weight [which she could not afford to lose due to her being very tiny to start with] she had no appetite and was becoming really depressed. Long story short- they moved to get away from the stress. Now mind you, this was a little over a year ago by this point. They relocated to where her husbands family is and started a new life, though I was sad to see them go, I knew it was for the best, for her health, her marriage and her overall sanity.

Beth thought by just removing herself from the stressful situation it would fix all her problems. Not so much! A year later she began having mini anxiety attacks- the first happened very randomly, she was fine one minute, ready to go to sleep so she had just crawled into her bed. All of a sudden she said she just kind of lost it- somewhat hysterical and panicking at the same time and didn’t know why; like a mini meltdown of sorts. The second occurrence was while she was driving. She described it as her peripheral vision closing in on her and she had to pull over. Randomly she began to have all these different episodes, which began around Christmas time.

Yes, she went to the Dr., where she received medication to control the episodes, which were diagnosed as post-traumatic stress and anxiety! What was the stress from? All the problems that she had with her family 9 over a year ago)- instead of dealing with them, they moved away. Christmas time came and she came back for a few days to visit and spend the holidays. Her family had not changed and the visit was less than she would have hoped for. All the stress from the previous years of arguing had all been brought to the forefront once again by having to deal with the same things while visiting her parents during Christmas. Subconsciously, she was reliving the episodes in her mind somehow; either while sleeping or in flashes. It began to overwhelm her even though she didn’t realize it was even happening!

Stress is a vicious emotion. It can reak havoc on your mind and your body if not treated, and it can amplify into things that can contribute to a life threatening situation, such as the panic episode that she experienced while driving, this could have caused her to have a fatal car crash. Removing yourself from the stress is only the first step. Sometimes you still need assistance to cope or compartmentalize the effects or lingering emotions that may tuck themselves away, only to roar their ugly head when you least expect it, or manifest themselves into something else.

Deal with stress as soon as you realize that something is just not right. No one is saying that you have to spend thousands of dollars on therapy or doctors, but you need to deal with it in some way. Leaving it linger and harboring the emotions just below the surface, while not knowing what may trigger it can be a very dangerous situation. Research online, find a free support group, a parents group or talk to friends, at least make a doctor appointment to get a professional recommendation on what you should do. In Beth’s words: “I thought I could handle it, but I guess it was bigger than me.”

How are you? Life is pretty crazy lately, I have been really busy writing articles and I am working on moving my website over to a new hosting company at the recommendation of a friend. I am also working that same friend to do a new site! I am really excited for all the things that have been happening so far for me in 2010!

If it continues this way- I will achieve my goals!

Sorry for the short post- not very informative or engaging, I know. I will make it up next time

Wishing you well and if you make memories- write about it. The pages will always be there even if your memory fails you!

Once they stop taking the meds, their moods begin to spiral out of control as the medication leaves the system. This can lead to severe depression, thoughts or acts of suicide, and it will begin to affect every area of their life. Relationships will suffer, work, education, everything.

Bipolar is a mood disorder that mimics the symptoms of depression or ADHD, just to name two. I can not stress enough how important it is to treat Bipolar or any other mood disorder with the proper medications and pay attention to your friend or loved one that has been diagnosed with Bipolar. If someone you know shows erratic mood swings, feelings of euphoria straight into depression or vice verse, or any other changes in mood that just do not seem right, I urge you to bring this to the attention of a professional!

Bipolar is not a  life threatening illness, unless it goes untreated. If untreated for long periods of time, suicide is a very real concern.

For more information on Bipolar Disorder, or other mood disorders, https://health.google.com/health/ref/Bipolar+disorder

Bipolar is not a curable disease.  However, it is treatable, and those that receive proper treatment are able to function and go on to lead productive lives!

My wish is to bring more attention to the disorder so that others may receive the help and diagnosis they need, sooner. It is traumatic enough to be diagnosed, it is yet even more traumatic to feel all alone. You are not alone.

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness. This disorder is characterized by the frequent, often times, sever changes in moods. It can leave in its wake damaged relationships and careers, not to mention the risky behavior traits that are associated with it, such as suicide and promiscuity. Bipolar Disorder can affect children as well as adults, men as well as women. It is not more common in certain ethnic groups over others, Bipolar does not have a preference as to socio-economic status. There is belief that it can be inherited. Bipolar Disorder has no cure, however there is treatment and with it suffers are able to live fully functioning lives.

The Basics Of The Disorder

Bipolar Disorder used to be known as manic depressive disorder or manic depression. There are some that think Bipolar is just another name for mood swings.

“Not so. The mood swings associated with bipolar disorder are very different than those of people without the condition”, says Matthew Rudorfer, MD, associate director of treatment research in the division of services and intervention research at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Md.

“The mood swings of bipolar [disorder] are more severe, longer lasting, and maybe most significant of all, they interfere with some important aspect of functioning, such as ability to work at one’s job, or manage one’s home, or be a successful student,” he says.

There are various stages that are experienced within the disorder itself. There are severe stages of mania where voices are heard, though my daughter does not experience those, for which I am thankful for. However, all suffers do experience episodes of severe depression. It is during these times that the potential for suicide is common and the risk is even greater that they may harm themselves. The feelings of having no self worth; feeling as though you are unloved, unwanted and not needed are so strong and powerful, you feel as if life has absolutely no meaning and there is no point in living. These are the times when intervention is needed and the hard decisions have to be made. If the person who is Bipolar is under the age of eighteen, than a parent can ask for a TDO. If they are over the age of eighteen, you will have to appeal to have them evaluated by a mental health professional who can than go before the magistrate to have an order issued to send them to a psychiatric hospital.

Affects On Romantic Relationships

Bipolar Disorder is just as hard on romantic relationships as it is on family relationships, if not harder. In a romantic relationship a person with Bipolar is more fearful of being deserted than in a family relationship and their fears are full of merit! With a parent or sibling they know deep down that they are loved and a parent is a parent for life. There may be arguments, but part of them, in their deepest manic moment knows they are truly loved, or at least I hope they do.

As the parent of a child that has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II, I can tell you that it has not always been an easy road to travel. I am not sure who has it harder- a parent or a partner. Imagine what a mother feels when she is forced to sit before a magistrate and ask for a  Temporary Detention Order (TDO) that will send her daughter to a psychiatric hospital for a minimum of 72 hours for evaluation. Wear the shoes of that same mother while she has to explain to her daughter, who is in full blown Mania, that she is being sent to a psychiatric facility. The pain that is felt at that very moment is something that I can not even begin to explain to you. I can tell you that even though deep down you know that you are doing what is absolutely necessary and what is best for your child, it does not take away the terrible feelings of guilt that are experienced at that very moment.

Being in a relationship with a person who suffers from Bipolar is just as difficult, if not more difficult than the role that a parent plays. I know the frustration that I feel as a parent, however I do have options that I am able to press if need be. Being a girlfriend or boyfriend of a Bipolar requires true dedication and unconditional love to be able to knowingly commit to the helplessness when you are not able to do anything to help them. ! The emotional roller coaster, the not knowing what mood you will encounter that day or moment from your partner will keep your nerves in constant upheaval. Bipolar Disorder causes them to be very needy at times, requiring constant reassurance that they are loved and wanted. There will be times when you will feel the insecurity as they go through there mood changes that cause them to not want anyone around them. You will take it person-feeling as though you have done something to cause them to feel this way. That may not be so. There are cycles that come with the disorder.

How You Can Become Involved

I recommend becoming as involved as your partner will allow, without being pushy. Do a lot of reading on the disorder, treatments and symptoms so you will be able to recognize the times when they are in need of psychiatric intervention. There will be times they will not want to take their medication, because after awhile they will feel as though they do not need it any longer, because they feel “normal.”  As unfortunate as it may be, that is just par for the course for the disorder. It is a constant battle, for the person who is diagnosed, a parent or relative and a person who is involved in a romantic relationship with a Bipolar sufferer.

Understanding Bipolar Disorder, symptoms and treatments is the key to the management of the disorder. The myriad of emotions that a person suffering from bipolar experiences in twenty-four hour period is astonishing, to say the least. Imagine one minute that you are hyper, can not sit still, so many thoughts going through your head like bits and pieces that pass as you look out a window; the next moment you are inexplicably sad, lonely and depressed, feeling as if life has no meaning, no one cares about you and you just do not want to go on; and then in another short period it is as if nothing in the world matters, you are deliriously happy and laughing inappropriately at situations and people; next jumping to being severely agitated and angry for no reason and wanting to cause harm to those around you. As you move through each phase, never in the same order, its like your mind is wiped clean of any memory of the previous state of mind, as if a light switch is flipped on and off, causing the changes in moods. To a person on the outside looking in, that has no knowledge of Bipolar Disorder, it can be a very disconcerting thing to witness. It’s like witnessing a rapid metamorphosis of sorts.

Common Misdiagnosis

There are many reasons that someone can be misdiagnosed. A main cause of this being the mindset of the patient when they are diagnosed, in other words, the kind of mood they are in.  Excessive talkativeness and decreased need for sleep could cause the person to be misdiagnosed as having ADHD; being sad or depressed can lead a psychiatrist to believe they suffer from clinical depression.  Bipolars are commonly misdiagnosed as having other disorders such as borderline personality disorder, Schizophrenia, Clinical depression, antisocial personality disorder or Schizoaffective disorder, all of this is depending on their state of mind at the time. There are so many reasons that patients are given a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. The signs of bipolar disorder are not always recognized right away. It is because of this that it is so widely misdiagnosed. Treating someone with bipolar as if they only suffer from depression is not only a misdiagnosis, it can also be life threatening in so much as medications used to treat depression, such as antidepressants, for a bipolar in their depressive state are almost like sugar is to a type 2 diabetic when their glucose is at its highest. The key to a proper diagnosis, once again, is completely understanding the disorder and the stages in which it goes through.

Why More Than 50% Are Misdiagnosed

As unbelievable as it may seem, it is true that more than half of people who suffer from Bipolar Disorder receive a misdiagnosis of unipolar disorder or depression; the reason is most bipolar sufferers seek treatment while in the low moods or depressive state of the disorder. It is impossible for the doctor or therapist to know that just yesterday or a week ago they were in a manic state or a hyper elevated mood phase of the disorder. Most bipolar sufferers do not think to tell the doctor or therapist about the state of their mood before the depressive state. At that moment, all they can think about is feeling overwhelmingly depressed. That is why familiarity of the symptoms, knowing the different stages of the disorder and becoming comfortable with their doctor and having a friend or relative active in the care plan helps to bring more clarity when it comes time for a true diagnosis.

Family Can Play A Key Role

I am not a doctor, nor do I proclaim to be. I have received no medical training, nor do I suffer from the disorder. I am a parent with a child who suffers from Bipolar Disorder II. My daughter Krysta, who is now 18 years old, was not properly diagnosed until she was sixteen and I first began to notice her symptoms when she was about nine years old. Prior to receiving a correct diagnosis of bipolar disorder, she was misdiagnosed as having ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder), Depression and Separation Anxiety from her father (due to divorce) and at one time a doctor felt that she was just having issues managing her anger and it was recommended that she attend Anger Management Therapy.

Family can play a key role in the correct diagnosis, perhaps the first time around. Family and friends are able to recall the rapid change in moods and offer a descriptive account on the mood and the actions the person displayed while in the various mood states. This can provide to be very beneficial to the doctor. Individuals that have bipolar disorder do not always recall the true facts of events when they are in the midst of what is called a bipolar mood. They live in a fantasy world for the most part, with feelings of delusion. The delusion may be in the form of accusing a spouse or partner of cheating, overwhelming feelings that they are not wanted, etc. Bipolar can be a very needy disorder which in turn can be exhaustive to their support system, causing family to eventually give up or to put it bluntly; thinking that they are just crazy. During a full blown manic state a person whom suffers from bipolar disorder has little to no control over their actions. In addition, this can be very dangerous to those around them. Once agitated, the situation will only escalate until either medication is given and they begin to level the moods back to a normal state, or in the worst scenarios they have to be hospitalized for their own and others safety.

Family will remember that when in the height of the mania the person threw something or kicked a hole in the wall, or even ran away. The sufferer will deny any of this happened.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

There are six main symptoms associated with bipolar disorder. Most people would wonder how can that be misdiagnosed. In actuality, it is easy to see why, when there are another fifty-seven underlying symptoms that fall under the main six symptomatic categories:

• Mood swings
• Cycles of symptoms (rapid changes in moods between highs and lows)
• Mania – and its symptoms:
  • Excessive talkativeness
  • Inappropriate elevated mood
  • Distractability
  • Irritability
  • Overly-inflated self-esteem
  • Grandiosity
  • Unrealistic ideas
  • Hypersexuality (increased sex drive)
  • Decreased need for sleep
  • Feeling on top of the world
  • Talking very fast
  • Racing thoughts
  • Rebelliousness
  • Increased goal-directed activity – e.g. shopping
  • Excessive shopping
  • Reckless behavior
  • Physical agitation
  • Spending sprees
  • Insecurity-e.g. false insecurity, convinced partner is cheating, constant need for attention, feeling as if no one wants them around
• Depression – and its various symptoms:
  • Persistent sad mood
  • Overeating
  • Loss of interest in activities
  • Appetite loss
  • Weight loss
  • Weight gain
  • Sleep pattern changes
  • Insomnia
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Oversleeping
  • Sluggishness
  • Agitation
  • Lack of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Inappropriate guilt
  • Difficulty thinking
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Thoughts of death or suicide
  • Suicide attempts
  • Chronic pain
• Mixed manic and depressive symptoms
  • Agitation
  • Psychosis
  • Appetite change
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Suicidal thinking
• Psychosis
  • Hallucinations
  • Delusions

Awareness of Mental Health Disorders

It is imperative that school counselors and teachers be trained in recognizing the signs that a child could be suffering from Bipolar Disorder. Teachers spend more time with our children during the school year than we do, unfortunately. If the Board of Education made training mandatory in Mental Health Awareness, perhaps these children could receive an earlier diagnosis, which would put them on the road to dealing with not only having the disorder, but to managing the disorder. Think of it in terms of being told you have cancer and you have six months to live. That would be pretty difficult to accept. That is a pretty final diagnosis. Being told that you are bipolar is final to the sufferer. Bipolars do not process things as we do. Their emotions are extremely dramatic; going from overly angry to a depressive low. Bipolar may not be curable, but it is very much manageable. Early detection and early treatment can speed them on to the road to not only managing the disorder, but accepting the fact that they have Bipolar Disorder.